"And who the hell are thesenon-entity motorbike riders?”
Great, now I’ve got ‘Ghost riders in Mumbai’ stuck in my head.
(Ghulam, 1998)
(written and submitted by Shahrukh Khan in Short Shorts)

"And who the hell are these
non-entity motorbike riders?”

Great, now I’ve got ‘Ghost riders in Mumbai’ stuck in my head.

(Ghulam, 1998)

(written and submitted by Shahrukh Khan in Short Shorts)

"I had chosen a live man."
In which Mumtaz rejects Bollywood’s first zombie shaadi.
(Prem Kahani, 1975) 

"I had chosen a live man."

In which Mumtaz rejects Bollywood’s first zombie shaadi.

(Prem Kahani, 1975) 

"Come I’ll explain you."
[Beth says: this is a new level of mansplaining. The nerve of some mahanayaks!]
(Indrani, 1958)
(submitted by Halfway through the Dark)

"Come I’ll explain you."

[Beth says: this is a new level of mansplaining. The nerve of some mahanayaks!]

(Indrani, 1958)

(submitted by Halfway through the Dark)

"I say, she is Geeta. You hadme pissed me for this girl.”
A gold star to anyone who can figure out what this was supposed to be.
(The Train, 1970)
(submitted by Bolly Bubbles)

"I say, she is Geeta. You had
me pissed me for this girl.”

A gold star to anyone who can figure out what this was supposed to be.

(The Train, 1970)

(submitted by Bolly Bubbles)

"Has the cat deliveredkittens in your mouth?”
Eew. Did they mean Banggai cardinalfish and fry?
(Ohm Shanthi Oshaana, 2014)
(written and submitted by weeguttersnipe)

"Has the cat delivered
kittens in your mouth?”

Eew. Did they mean Banggai cardinalfish and fry?

(Ohm Shanthi Oshaana, 2014)

(written and submitted by weeguttersnipe)

"All characters aremade to talk in Telugu....so that everybodycan understand them.”
[Beth says: subtitling a statement of linguistic obviousness is kind of awesome.]
(opening credits of Naayak, 2013)
(submitted by omgmikko)

"All characters are
made to talk in Telugu..
..so that everybody
can understand them.”

[Beth says: subtitling a statement of linguistic obviousness is kind of awesome.]

(opening credits of Naayak, 2013)

(submitted by omgmikko)

"All nonsense is going in the name of women education."
The submitter was going to comment but cannot be reached. Gone on a women education trip, indefinitely. 
(Indrani, 1958)
(written and submitted by halfwaythruthedark)

"All nonsense is going in the name of women education."

The submitter was going to comment but cannot be reached. Gone on a women education trip, indefinitely. 

(Indrani, 1958)

(written and submitted by halfwaythruthedark)

"FHPO 450 motors from Hirata Japan with harmonic reduction rate (NOT CLEAR)"

"Yes 22 NOT CLEAR number!"

[Beth says: unsurprisingly, Rajnikanth blew the mind of the subtitler.]

(Endhiran, 2010)

(submitted by omgmikko)

"This killingBindiya on your forehead!”
"Quite embellished," says submitter Bollybubbles, who reports that the actual text is simply "Teri bindiya, re, haay.”
(Abhimaan, 1973)
(submitted by Bollybubbles)

"This killing
Bindiya on your forehead!”

"Quite embellished," says submitter Bollybubbles, who reports that the actual text is simply "Teri bindiya, re, haay.”

(Abhimaan, 1973)

(submitted by Bollybubbles)

"If ever lightning walkswith a moustache…”
(Padikathavan, 2009)
(submitted by weeguttersnipe)

"If ever lightning walks
with a moustache…”

(Padikathavan, 2009)

(submitted by weeguttersnipe)

Celebrating creativity, typos, and expert image-and-word juxtaposition in subtitles in Indian cinema, plus some perfectly good translations that just don't work in English.

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